A heavy dose of truth, humor, and political activism.

Location: Phila, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, December 08, 2005


Hi I'm D. Jacob Miller and I am in search of intellectually stimulating individuals. I can't deal with all the hordes of brainwashed stupid people anymore. If I hear one more pro-bush related ramble I'm gonna throw up. I have a lovely wife who is very supportive but sometimes I need a format to ramble that isn't talking her ear off. Before I unleash the ramble that is a test blog (in what may become a continuing series), I think I'll try a new means of focus. Subheading all my thoughts. It'll make it easier for you to break it down and help maintain a nice flow of ideas. I maintain that all the information contained within is true, to the best of my knowledge. These days, that's about the best you can get.
So all of a sudden one day it was okay to post opinion as fact (come on, you know you want to, everyone else is doing it, afterwards we're all gonna go jump off a bridge...room for one more) and the blog was born. If you haven't picked up on the sarcasm yet, you might want to stop reading...Now. I've never really done this before but I have a lot to ramble about so I'm gonna get it out. If you agree with me great, if you don't, great. I'm willing to open a dialogue with anyone who agrees or disagrees as long as they are open to hearing and considering opinions that might conflict with their own. I'm not always right, and neither are you. Yeah you. No, not someone else...You. If you just wanna spout crazy GOP nonsense and not listen to reason, please do it somewhere else. You can have as many pro GOP, NRA, Jesus loving, Gay-Bashing, War Mongering blogs as you'd like. This one is mine.
TONIGHT'S NON SEQUITOR (possibly misspelled)
There are these lakes up in the mountains in the Grand Tetons in Wyoming. You hike up to cabins around the lake and there is no electricity whatsoever. When the sun goes down, that's it for lights. It was requested that no one use flashlights. So one night I had to leave the cabin in the middle of the night to go to the outhouse (no plumbing) and there were stars where I had never seen stars before. Just everywhere, from one corner of the sky, to the other. The lake was completely calm allowing all of the stars to reflect back perfectly from below. Ever felt really really small? That is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I didn't pause too long. It was freezing cold, I had to piss outside, and I'm afraid of bears. THE FOOD CHAIN I feel that it's only fair to be afraid of bears. If you're gonna eat meat (and I eat plenty) you at least have to submit to the entire food chain theory. Sure, you could take a chicken in a man vs. chicken battle for food chain supremacy. Probably even a cow (are we allowing weapons this year)? if it came down to it. But if you're off in the woods, taking a piss in a little wooden box at 4 in the morning, and a hungry bear comes along, Good luck with that.
I TAKE SOME TIME TO BRAG & FEEL REMORSEFUL I started speaking and reading at a very young age and started playing the violin when I was 2. I played at the Academy of Music when I was 4. When I was 11, I turned the local music world (a.k.a. mostly just my family, a few friends, my music coach, lovers of small boys with stringed instruments [Will the Catholic Church take 2 steps forward?]) on it's ear, when I promptly retired my violin and walked away for ever. Final Score: Wasted Talent: 1 David: 0
THE MAN IS KEEPING ME DOWN I went to school for Journalism thinking I could bring truth to the World. But ever since the Free Telecommunications Act (This was a dick move by Clinton, and I'm a Clinton guy) all the media outlets were bought up by a handful of people who now censor and control all the media outlets. Rupert Murdoch owns Myspace now. He also owns TV Guide and Fox to name a few. Fox and News should not be allowed in the same sentence. TV Guide (a.k.a. "Don't know what to watch? Let a stuffy right wing billionaire decide for you! TV Guide: Why think, when someone richer and more well connected than you are, can think for you" magazine) offers about as much unbiased information as Dick Vitale calling a Duke game.
The rest of you are obviously College Basketball fans. Let's go 'Nova. That's for you dad. IM ON THE CASE I was in Italy like 2 weeks ago (we were on our honeymoon) and I got to watch a lot of news broadcast from around the world and the U.S. doesn't tell us shit. Everything is candy coated. These acts are being carried out in the name of every citizen in this country and we're coming out looking like a bunch of Idiot Cowboys who show no discretion when it comes to lying to the world, and even the American public, about their intentions as well as actions. The GOP, FCC, and Media BIGWIGS will tell you anything they think they have to in order to keep you preoccupied and docile. You don't have to believe it. You don't have to believe what I am saying either, but if you do, I'll give you a dollar (dollar not guaranteed). AN EXAMPLE They interviewed Ronald McDonald on CNN. Ronald McDonald is a fictional character being played by a guy in a clown suit. That is the only story for which he is qualified to answer questions: "So what's it like to play Ronald McDonald?" ...and even then, he wouldn't be answering in character but as the actor. In the CNN interview, they acted as if Ronald McDonald was an actual person and interviewed him as if he was in character. This is "supposed" to be a reputable news outlet? And I'm supposed to believe anything they tell me about the war in Iraq? Sorry CNN and GOP, I'm not buying' it. ;) GIFT WRAPPING THIS UP It's the holiday season again and I couldn't help but feel like hallmark has been talking shit on me behind my back. How so you ask? Somehow the alleged birth day of jesus was magically turned into a day where a big fat guy breaks into your home and leaves you gifts. Along with this annual chimney invasion, the eight reindeer, and the snow man with the magic pipe, was born the guilt-inspiring notion that if you get no gifts, you've been bad. The stigma must be especially difficult to those in need this season who can't afford gifts for their children because they've fallen on hard times. Donate some toys. These kids have experienced hell over this past year. The one toy you donate from your child's pile (hey if you don't have any kids, why not donate a few gifts while you still can) will bring more happiness to these kids this holiday season no matter what their religion than they would at home. If they wanna force feed us holiday cheer let's choke it down with a big glass of kindness. Hallmark has turned this into a holiday of "prove you care about me by purchasing material goods" and these kids need to believe they are good. Most of them are. OK OK SO I GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP AND OFF TRACK I believe I was saying I felt betrayed by Hallmark. No, not so much betrayed...set up. Yeah I've been set up B. In this case, B stands for you. Yeah that's right, I'm talking right to you. Anyway so there is this standard that if someone doesn't get you gifts, they don't care. I like to give people gifts because I put time and effort into them and enjoy making them happy, not because it's time to hold onto the illusion of Santa into adulthood. Kids need Santa. Adults might need him too, but sometimes it's nice not to be expected to give gifts. I feel it's no better than when someone apologizes to you, and you know they only apologized because someone else made them do it. I realize I am focusing on just Christmas alone but I know the same goes for Hanukkah and many other religions as well...no gifts = no love. Fuck that math. In conclusion, I will buy presents this holiday season Hallmark. But if I didn't buy a single one, it wouldn't mean I love any of the people in my life any less than I would if I could lavish them with expensive presents.
We flew Lufthansa to Europe a few weeks ago and they seemed to have their act together. Free drinks (including alcohol), free headsets for the movie, friendly staff, they still called coach class "coach class." On the return flight home we took USAIR. Alcohol was 5$ in coach; oh no sorry, economy class. They showed a movie but if you wanted to listen to it costs $5 for a headset. This is like someone setting down a big juicy steak in front of you and saying if you wanna eat it, it's gonna be $5 for a fork and knife. Of course all of these things are free in FIRST CLASS. It's name alone commands respect, FIRST class. I also appreciate the see-through curtain they draw between us bottom-feeders in economy class (how is $700 to fly to Italy a good economic choice?) and the "VIP" Kings and Queens of the first 10 rows. That's right economy class passengers...we'll let you see what's going on in First Class, the free headsets and alcohol, the little warm towels, no waiting for the drink cart...just don't come through the curtain and try to use our bathrooms. You have to set limits. Thanks for that USAIR. END OF THE ROAD? Should I continue to write these rambling, multi-titled, little blogs from now on? If you read this and have an opinion, feedback is greatly appreciated. I LEAVE YOU HANGING .....


Anonymous Arbeezy said...

keep on keepin' on, my brutha...

December 12, 2005 12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really look forward every day to reading your blog and feel a sense of loss when you do not write. Your humor makes me (and I am sure others who feel the world is out of control) laugh (and cry) and feel more sane and more connected to like minded beings. Keep writing and venting -- a way of putting good energy in the world. We need all the brilliant humorists in the world -- like you and Jon Stewart and others -- speaking out so that the silent majority doesn't become depressed and feel that getting involved with others is hopeless.

I believe that being engaged in life -- being committed to action -- gives life meaning. My proof -- how I feel when I do and how I fee when I don't.

December 14, 2005 4:02 PM  
Blogger ilostbert said...

write on! write on! This is way better than Sportscenter for the 4th time today :-)

December 16, 2005 12:29 AM  
Anonymous Carol W. said...

Where have you been hiding? This stuff is great!! I find myself waiting for more....so you better keep writing or you'll really leave me hangin'....it brings a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.


December 16, 2005 6:30 PM  

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