SPOON, FULL OF TRUTH

A heavy dose of truth, humor, and political activism.

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Location: Phila, Pennsylvania, United States

Thursday, January 26, 2006

THE RIGHT VS. WHAT'S RIGHT

LITTLE HANDS, LITTLE ACTION I'm an avid basketball fan. The NBA has its' moments, but for my money it doesn't get any better than a well played college basketball game, a MEN's college basketball game. I'm not against female athletics, especially not college aged women putting themselves through school on their athletic talent. What I am against, are the rules and regulations of women's basketball. The truth is, men and women do not play on an even playing field when it comes to basketball. They both play on the same sized basketball court, they both play with a ten foot high basket, but the women's basketball is smaller. Women do have smaller hands than men and so it might make sense that the women's ball should be smaller. But a smaller ball, should mean a smaller rim, and that isn't the case. If the basket is the same size for men and for women, but the ball is smaller for women, it's safe to say it's easier for a woman to score in basketball. If you are going to make one concession for women, why not make several? First of all, make the basket and the ball proportionate. If the ball is small, make the rim small too. Problem solved. Next, lower the rim to a height of eight feet and let some of these chicks dunk. I'm sorry, there is just nothing exciting about grabbing a rebound, throwing a great outlet pass to open up the fast break, just to have the end result be a lay-up, EVERY time. Sure, there are lay-ups in the men's game too. It's the mere possibility of each play being capped off by a monstrous thunder dunk that keeps it exciting. A ten foot high basket in the women's game all but eliminates this possibility, and that sucks. So listen up WNBA and NCAA Women's division. You've already made it easier for women to make a jump-shot. Why not make it a little easier for the ladies to dunk? If you're gonna change the game, CHANGE the game. I'm not asking for topless free-throw shooting, just a little tomahawk action. SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN WITH DINAH What better way to follow up on women on the basketball court then with men in the kitchen? Not only do I write one of the most informative blogs on the net, I also make the world's greatest grilled cheese sandwich. Many people have tried to refute this claim, only to taste the pure bliss that accompanies every bite of my tasty grilled cheeses, quickly persuading them to change their tune. I have also had many challengers to the grilled cheese throne, all have been humbled in defeat. What makes my grilled cheese sandwich stand out in a world of similar creations? It's really hard to say. I think it's the subtle nuances. The perfect golden brown color of the bread. The way the bread stays moist on the inside, yet has a slight crunch around the edges. The way the cheese melts perfectly, giving you equal portions of gooey goodness inside each and every bite. Whatever the reason, I have accepted the title of world's greatest grilled cheese artist and strive everyday to live up to the standards that such a title commands. I will never stop searching for ways to improve that which, many say, cannot be improved; to set the bar of perfection at a new height. For, as long as poor college kids yearn for something tasty to eat, as long as hippies still attend music festivals, as long as those close to me long for culinary nirvana, I shall be there, spatula in hand, ready to sizzle. A SPOON FULL OF TRUTH CALL FOR ACTION It looks like the Bush camp is going to win the war after all. Not the war in Iraq, not the war on terror, the war against our civil liberties. The GOP is about to get a second, FAR-right minded person onto the supreme court in less then a year. 9/11? Iraq? Katrina? Spying on Americans? Steroids? All just smoke and mirrors. As long as these things continue to dominate the headlines, much more important issues, issues that will shape the future of this country (and possibly the world) for decades and decades to come, can fly under the radar. Sure all of these things are important, but they won't be Bush's real legacy. His real legacy will be how he continues to shape and change our country for the worse once his term in office is over. The best way to do that? Bush went looking for a supreme court justice that would share his views to a tee. Someone who would continue Dubya's legacy of shredding the constitution in favor of a new political document, the bible. In Sam Alito, he found that man. The worst part is, two-thirds of this country have no idea what he is doing. They are so wrapped up in the issues that the GOP has allowed the media to report on, that this much bigger story is not being followed. People are too consumed in their daily lives to be concerned with their future. The future is NOW people. The future of this country won't be decided in the next presidential election, it will be decided this week. If this Senate confirms Sam Alito, the rest is only a matter of time. Eventually he will help overturn Roe vs. Wade, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Some facts about Sam Alito: Alito has fought for full immunity for administration officials who illegally spy on Americans, and Bush stands accused of just that crime. Alito believes in a theory of the super-powerful "unitary executive" that would justify Bush's attempts to indefinitely detain American citizens without trial or charges. Alito even opposed Morrison vs. Olson which gave Congress the power to appoint a special counsel, that the president cannot just fire at will, to investigate presidential scandals. This country was created with three branches (Judiciary, Executive, Legislative) so that no one branch would have too much power. Bush, with Alito's help, is dangerously threatening this basic staple of our government. With a maniac like Bush as president, a supreme court filled with justices who were appointed BECAUSE they share the president's views, and a Senate filled with men and women who are too busy accepting bribes to consider the consequences of the votes they are casting, we citizens are in trouble. The door is closing on us rapidly, but it is not closed yet. Stand up! Make some noise! Write a letter! Call your Senator! If you do nothing, and accept this future as inevitable, they have already won. Whatever happened to "by the people, for the people"? WE are the people. For yourselves, for your children, for your children's children, it's time to make a stand. The far-right, is wrong for America. I MISS YOU POP-POP My grandfather's name (my father's father) was Albert Miller. But that wasn't how I knew him. To my brother and I, he was only Pop-pop. He and my grandmom lived about two hours away in Scranton, PA. I used to love going to visit them as kids. My grandmother used to make us the mini Lender's bagels with whipped Philadelphia cream cheese. He had very large ears and I loved to play with them. They were all wrinkly and smooth. He would try to keep a very straight face like he hated me playing with them, but he always had a little twinkle in his eye and a little smirk in the corner of his mouth. I knew he didn't mind. My Pop-pop would never let us leave before we gave him a hug, and he gave us twenty bucks. In his way, this was to show us that he loved us. I didn't need the money to know that. Whenever I was dressed like a slob or acting lazy, he would always call me "Schlimey Schlepperman." I used to love that. He and my grandmom would take us to an arcade called Top Dog near their house and feed us quarters for hours as we held up the hope that we could earn enough tickets for one of the top prizes. Eventually we did. I last saw my Pop-pop on father's day a few years ago. I went to see him in the hospital where he was recovering from a heart-attack. True to form he slipped me twenty dollars from his hospital bed. The doctors said he was doing well and would be fine. He died a few days later. Sometimes I still can't believe he's gone. My other three grandparents (my father's mother, and both of my mother's parents) are still alive. I've been very lucky to get to know them all so well. Sometimes I wish I could just have one more day with him. I want to tell him how good of a dad my father has been to me. I think it would make him really proud. I also want him to meet my wife and show him that I'm not the same Schlimey Schlepperman I was as a kid. I hope he'd be proud of me too. In a few years, when I have kids, I know they'll love their Pop-pop as much as I loved mine (and yes Mom, their Nana too). DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO I've done a lot of stupid things in my life time. Hopefully through the knowledge gained from my experiences, I can keep at least one of you from making the same mistakes. The following is a list of things you might want to think twice about trying, I wish I had. Don't eat two large pizza hut pizzas by yourself in one sitting just because your friend doubts you can. You might prove him right, you also might vomit. Don't try to bleach your hair for the first time on a 90 degree day. If sweat runs into your eyebrows, it might turn them orange. Don't touch your penis soon after touching poison ivy. It's uncomfortable enough when it's on your hands. Don't steal cologne from the store when you're little, cover yourself in it, and then try to convince your mother it wasn't you. Unless your mother has no nose, then go for it. Just because it is all you can eat, doesn't mean you should eat all you can. You'll never actually make them lose money. Don't threaten to take a shit in the opposing team's dugout if the Phillies pitcher hits a grand slam his next time up. Odds are, he won't do it. Then again he could be Jeff Juden. Don't try to shave your head without water or shaving cream. Razor burn is a bitch. Don't spend all day in the sun in Florida without sunscreen because you think a really good tan will look cool. Blisters on your ears do not look cool. Don't pull anyone's finger. Not if I'm in the room. Hopefully this will keep too many of you from walking in my shoes. I'd hate to say I told you so. I EXPRESS GRATITUDE I'd like to send out a big "Spoon Full Of Truth" thank you to my good friend Alan. Thanks to him, you will now notice that there is a "SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BLOG" button located underneath the archives. Please use this feature to subscribe to Spoon Full Of Truth so you can be notified of all new postings. Alan is not only good with the tech questions, he's also (unknowingly) the first lucky player in the "Spoon Full Of Truth, Find My Friend A Fox" date contest. Ladies, if you'd like to win a fabulous date with this attractive, intelligent gentleman, please send a revealing photo of yourself along with 500 words or less on why you would make the perfect date to: spoonfulloftruth@aol.com. Please put "DATE CONTEST" in the subject line. Until next time...

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do these foxes need to speak English?

January 26, 2006 4:39 AM  
Anonymous auntcarol said...

WOW....I feel like I am watching a future star in the making....your astuteness and take on the world is impressive - and combined with your natural flair for expression, no one will be able to stop you! Just keep on writing and keep on speaking the truth because they're so little of that today and it's so undervalued!!!

January 26, 2006 6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo for a great column today.You are so right about the need for the public to wake up and pay attention to what the confirmation of Alito or Scalia -lite will likely mean to their lives and their childrens lives.Keep up the good work!

January 26, 2006 9:08 AM  
Blogger Michele Leigh said...

I am literally SCARED for when Alito takes over for Sandra Day O'Connor.

January 27, 2006 11:45 AM  
Anonymous RBZ said...

i will attest to the fact that you do indeed make the world's greatest grilled cheese sandwich. perhaps you should make this blog just a grilled cheese sandwich blog. mmm...blog.

January 27, 2006 4:06 PM  

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