SPOON, FULL OF TRUTH

A heavy dose of truth, humor, and political activism.

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Location: Phila, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, January 27, 2006

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

WHO ARE THE REAL CRIMINALS? At this point I've come to expect awful things from Dubya. The guy is so high on his own ego he must feel like he's been whisked back in time to his cocaine days. He is a loose cannon, he is a criminal, but he's not the only one to blame. The news media is supposed to serve as a watchdog function on the government. They are supposed to question shady government dealings and bring them to the attention of the general public. They are meant to serve as a link between the people and elected government officials. So why is it that the media has been giving Bush a free pass? It's easy. The media works for the GOP. I could sit here and list Bush's atrocities all day long; Iraq, Katrina, and domestic spying are just the tip of the iceberg. Bush is not satisfied with breaking the law, however. He wants to change it. He wants to give so much power to the president, that they become a dictator. The exact kind of power he claimed was wrong for Iraq. He wants to change the laws to allow domestic spying. He wants to circumvent the constitution by using the patriot act. It is not at all outside the realm of possibility that once he has another lackey on the supreme court that he will try to change the law that prohibits presidents from serving more then two terms. I can picture him in my head right now. Standing in his ranch in Texas. Trying on one of those fake crowns (that he no doubt got with his Burger King "Big Kid's" meal) and repeating "King George" over and over into his mirror. And the media is laying down the red carpet for his coronation. Why? Because every single news outlet is owned by a Republican. And these Republicans, like Bush (and the other usual suspects), want to control what the general public actually knows. It's a wonderful control tool. Control the information and you control the people. Some of these media outlets are going so far as to report FOR the government. If the government wants to release a statement, they should make an address to the union. But why do for yourself what someone else can do for you? Fox news might as well rename itself "The Bush Report: all the 'news' that Dubya lets us share." To make matters worse, he's got the other tools in place he needs to succeed. First, he will soon have a majority of supreme court judges who agree with his twisted visions. Second, he has the Senate who would approve anything he asks of them. The Judiciary, Legislative, and Executive are supposed to work WITH one another, not FOR one another. Too much control now lies in the President's hands and he is mad with power. It is still possible for the general public to learn the truth, but they have to search so hard to seek it out that many don't bother. This information should be readily available to all of us. It should be leading the evening news every night. What does lead the news? The war in Iraq, a local murder, the weather, and the issues that the Bush camp has created (i.e., baseball's steroids scandal) to take focus away from their master plan. I am issuing a challenge to the media. Do your fucking job! Telling me that there is a cold front coming is not news. Telling me that there is a radical take over of the US government by right-wing christian conservatives concerns me a little more. It concerns ALL of us a little more. I am also issuing a challenge to everyone else out there that has had enough of this. Stand up and say NO to mad cowboy disease! Seek out the truth. One big spoon FULL of it at a time. BUD SELIG STOLE MY IDEA It's not like I'm bitter, Bud. OK maybe I am a little bitter. I mean, it's not like I planned on selling you the idea. I would have been happy to let you use it to improve the game for free. How about a little recognition? Many years ago, while sitting at a Phillies game with my friend Alan, probably bored out of our minds (because in all likelihood, the Phillies were losing), I had a great idea. I decided that the baseball all-star game should decide home field advantage for the world series. At the time, home field advantage was simply switched from the AL one year, to the NL the next. The all-star game was just a popularity contest where you got to see the biggest names in baseball all half-ass it for an inning or two and then be replaced by some other guy who probably didn't make it to the big game on merit either. One year they even ran out of pitchers. For shame. So I had this great idea and what happened? Bud Selig stole it. And claimed it as his own. That's fine Bud. I see how it is. I probably wasn't going to do anything with the idea anyway. And considering you're the commissioner of major league baseball and I'm not, you probably put it to better use. But next time I have a revolutionary idea to change the game for the better, I'm posting it right here on Spoon Full Of Truth. Then, when you try to steal it, you'll be called out at the bag. YOU ARE NOW FREE TO MOVE ABOUT THE MIND I need a vacation from the ordinary. Normal vacations are great but they take time and money and frankly, not many people have much of either these days. For me, the solution is simple, a pretend vacation is in order. A pretend vacation gives me a lot more to be excited about. For starters, I have a lot more destinations to choose from. Australia for a real vacation? Please. I probably couldn't even afford a phone call to Australia. But on my imaginary budget, I can go first class. In fact, I'm taking my own private jet. And it can travel so fast that I'll be there before I know it. I should probably have the young, sexy maids turn my sheets down in my mansion on the beach before I arrive. That'll give them something to do before they attend to more important jobs, like making out with each other while feeding me grapes. I figure my wife won't like this, but then again she'll probably be too busy shopping with the twenty-million pretend dollars I'm going to give her. Nothing's too good for my baby. Well, since this vacation has cost me nothing so far, and I've still got hours and hours before the real sun comes up, I might as well keep it going. Tired of my private jet, and eager to use my new teleportation device (I picked one up down under, you should consider it if you have the means), I'll probably head to Amsterdam next. I now own my own coffee house and that's the first place I'll go. Good thing they serve pot as well as coffee, and for me, it's on the house. Hell, I'm going to get all of Amsterdam high and it's on the house. This is, after all, a vacation. I should splurge. It's good to be back in Amsterdam but to be honest I'm getting a little homesick. I'm gonna head home, and....I'm back. That was quite a trip. The best part is, it only took about ten minutes and cost me nothing. I probably shouldn't have wasted my money on imaginary trip insurance though. Oh well. Next time I'll pretend something came up at the last minute and put the insurance to use. I imagine that'll work. YO EVERYBODY! I went to this bar near my apartment tonight and they were filming the new Rocky movie on the street outside. Rocky Balboa. Isn't this a bit of a stretch? First he loses to Apollo. Then he beats Apollo. Then they become friends. Then the Russian kills Apollo. Then Rocky avenges Apollo. And let us not for get his epic with Mr. T (who, for the record, doesn't hate Rocky, he just pities the fool). That was when Rocky was like 30 (maybe 40) years old. And this time? He's my dad's age. Granted he was my dad's age the first time, but my father wouldn't kick to much ass these days and I'm not expecting much better from Rocky. But wait, I'm forgetting it's the Rocky movie. Of course he's gonna win again. Unless they are planning to make him lose and come back stronger in Rocky 7. I won't hold my breath. But I can safely now assume that Rocky Balboa will find a way to conquer all and come out victorious by the end of the movie. So, if we all know he's gonna win anyway in his dramatic (although completely unrealistic) return to the ring, why not up the ante a little bit. Have him fight two guys at once. Or a chick. Why not? Does it really matter who he fights? He's 60. I could probably kick Rocky's ass at this point (although to be safe, we'll leave that at an assumption). I'm from Philly. I'm going to go see Rocky Balboa no matter who it is he's fighting. I'm gonna pay for my over priced ticket, sit in my seat with my feet stuck to the floor, and cheer for Sly to regain his glory. But with the outcome of the movie so obvious, they might as well have let Disney produce it (was I the only one who thought the Mighty Ducks would lose?). And if I already know how the movie ends, I might as well be thrilled out of my mind until it comes. Maybe Rocky will fight aliens, have sex with some eighteen year old Swedish girls, cure cancer, and then bite his opponent's nose off, all before winning the heavy weight title back. Then, when he finally hangs the gloves up, he can fight his biggest battle of them all. He can invent his own table top grilling machine and give George Forman a run for his money. I hope Rocky's machine works better. I have a little more steak in it. I DON'T DO WEEKENDS That's all until Monday folks. Everyone enjoy your weekend and take some time to do whatever you can to keep Sam Alito from being confirmed by the Senate. Remember people, these politicians work for us. We gave them their jobs and we CAN take them away. Tell your congressman how you feel now, let them know they'll lose your vote if they vote to confirm Alito. And then, hold to it. A vote for Alito means one less vote for them. Sometimes that's the only language these spineless cowards understand. If you find yourself in need of more truth before Monday, please visit the archives where you can find a wealth of knowledge. It's a little much to take in all at once, so relax, take a deep breath, and take it one Spoon FULL at a time.

5 Comments:

Anonymous The Wife said...

Hey babe,

As long as I have a million or so imaginary dollars to shop with, you can totally watch imaginary girls make out with each other.

xo

January 27, 2006 10:55 AM  
Blogger TheEdge said...

I respect your point of view and choose not to defend mine as ours do conflict a bit. However, I am inclined to cock my head to the side and ponder your speculation of a Conservative Media. I will grant you that Fox is an exception. But the phrase I have heard all of my life was... "The Liberal Media." Maybe the pendulum has swung more in a conservative direction if only to balance out a dominant liberal point of view. I think we are much more apt to have the "watchdog style" newsgathering if we have both groups represented. I cannot go one day without hearing a Bush slam (most times deservedly so) of some sort on the news. We have a long way to go before "conservative media" becomes common lingo.

January 27, 2006 11:16 AM  
Blogger D. Jacob Miller said...

The reason you don't hear "conservative media" as a slam is because all of those in power ARE conservatives. These politicians are not in the business of slamming their own party. If a Democrat was in the white-house, and the Dems ran Congress, you might hear the term "conservative media" more. There should be multiple sides to the media. They should be unbiased. "Liberal" is only an insult when used by Republicans. To those of us with brains, it just means those members of the media actually doing their job and questioning the President. Every media outlet at this point should follow suit.

January 27, 2006 11:20 AM  
Blogger Michele Leigh said...

Pretty funny on the Rocky synopsis. I wonder the same thing... why come out with a sequel 18 years after the fact? Or whatever it's been. And of course, your points on "Dubya" are always right on target. Thanks for bringing me back to the "good" side all those months ago.

January 27, 2006 11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You hit it on the head. Rocky's grill goes toe to toe or hamburger to hamburger with George Foreman's grill in Rocky 18.Rocky's son, also named Rocky, and Rocky's daughter ,also named Rocky ,also square off against George Foreman's sons, all of whom are named George ,in a wing eating contest.I can't wait.Can it get any better than that ?

January 28, 2006 4:13 PM  

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