THE WORLD AT A GLANCE (THE SPOON POINT OF VIEW)
AS THE WORLD TURNS There is a lot going on around the world and here at home this week. Without spending too much time on any one subject, let's explore some of the stories making news this week. We'll also explore briefly some of the stories that should be making news, but are being swept under the rug. ROVE ROVE ROVE YOUR BOAT GENTLY OUT OF TROUBLE Karl Rove got some good news this week. Looks like he won't be getting sent up the river after all. As it turns out, revealing the name of a CIA agent for political reasons (during war time no less) isn't reason enough to charge anyone with a crime. That is, unless the person revealing names isn't a Bush supporter. I suppose next up we can expect the charges against Scooter Libby to be dropped, it's not like he lied about a blow-job. I'm sure Bush would have pardoned them both in two years anyway. PENALTY FOR REMOVING HELMET: 15 TEETH In football, a player is penalized fifteen yards for removing his helmet on the field. In Pennsylvania (my home State) there is no penalty for not wearing a helmet when riding a motorcycle, that is unless you crash. Ben Roethlesberger, quarterback of the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers, was involved in a crash Monday morning in Pittsburgh while riding his motorcycle, he was not wearing a helmet. He suffered a broken nose, a broken jaw, several chipped or broken teeth, and a nine inch laceration to the back of his skull when his head hit the windshield of the car he collided with. My reaction? I hope not one single person feels even remotely bad for him. Motorcycles are dangerous enough but when you don't wear a helmet, you are asking for whatever head injuries you receive. I guess it just takes a great arm to win a Super Bowl. Evidently, brains aren't required. BLUE DEVIL BLEW SOBRIETY TEST J.J. Redick, the NCAA player of the year (in basketball) was arrested this morning for driving under the influence. I wonder if his one call was to Dick Vitale who couldn't go twenty seconds without mentioning Redick on television this year (even in games where Duke wasn't playing). He's lucky he didn't kill anyone. All I can say about J.J. is, he should be concentrating more on the NBA draft, and less on kicking back a few drafts before driving home. HURRICANES BRING HIGH WINDS AS STUPIDITY REIGNS It's that time of year again, hurricane season. The first storm of the season, Alberto, recently hit Florida and as I do at this time every year I wonder, why don't these people move? I'm sure Florida has redeeming qualities. Alligators, cockroaches, Jeb Bush as governor...what's not to like? Oh, and one other thing that never changes, Florida is right in the path of hurricanes. Knowing this, why would anyone want to live there? Every year on TV I see all of these people crying about how their house and all of their things was destroyed and the worst part is, they look surprised. News flash, it's going to happen again this year. If you're afraid of losing your home and all of your things (and possibly your life) I suggest you pack up and move somewhere else. This also applies to those of you living in denial atop the Earthquake fault lines in California or in the heart of Tornado Alley. BUSH DELIVERS LIES TO IRAQ HIMSELF Dubya made a surprise visit to Iraq this week to personally deliver a large shipment of bullshit. "I've come to not only look you in the eye. I've also come to tell you that when America gives its word, it keeps its word," Bush told Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. America sure does have a fine record of keeping its word. We told Iraq that we'd stay and help topple Saddam after the first Gulf War. How'd that turn out? We told the U.N. we were going into Iraq to find WMD's. Good thing we found so many of them. America doesn't even keep its word when it comes to saying that it keeps its word. "Good to see you," exclaimed al-Maliki as he met Bush. It seems that he, like Bush, enjoys telling a good lie. U.S. GETS REALITY CZECH IN WORLD CUP PLAY For those of you who haven't been following the 2006 World Cup, the United States caught a 3-0 beat down at the hands, no, feet, of the Czech Republic. For a team that was supposed to be ranked #5 in the World, this was an embarrassment. Sure, Americans might be good at American games like basketball, football, and baseball, but when are we going to step it up when it comes to the World's game, futbol? Billions of people around the world watch the World Cup. That makes the Super Bowl look like the pee-wee championship. Unlike the World Series, the World Cup is actually a game played by the entire World. When was the last time you saw the Yankees take on a team from Brazil or Italy in the fall classic? Hopefully, after our match with Italy on Saturday, we'll come out looking like a little more than just World class chumps. TO RAISE OR NOT TO RAISE, AS IF IT'S A QUESTION Despite record low approval ratings, on Tuesday, House lawmakers embraced a $3,300 pay raise that will increase their salaries to $168,500. The two percent "cost-of-living" raise would be the seventh straight for members of the House and Senate. Don't you wish that you and your co-workers voted on your own raises? Hmm, I wonder which way I would vote. Cost of living? It must be tough trying to make ends meet for these corporate cronies on Capital Hill. You'd figure that they made enough to cover their living expenses when they sold their souls to the highest bidder. If they really want to take a vote on raises, they should vote to raise their morals, commitment to the people, and follow through on promises made at election time. This is a joke. END OF THE LINE, ALL READERS MUST EXIT AT THIS STOP I hope you all enjoyed this brief look at some of the events taking place this week. For all of you Myspace fanatics out there, why not officially become friends with the Spoon, Full of Truth. You can view/add the profile at: www.myspace.com/spoonfulloftruth If time allows, there will be another truth-filled post for you all to take in on Friday. This message will self destruct in 30 seconds.