GUEST COLUMN

THE FOLLOWING IS THE FOURTH INSTALLMENT OF MY GUEST COLUMN SEGMENT. THE VIEWS ARE THOSE OF THE WRITER AND NOT THOSE OF D. JACOB MILLER OR SPOON, FULL OF TRUTH (ALTHOUGH I MIGHT AGREE WITH THEM). PLEASE ENJOY! CHECK BACK SOON FOR ANOTHER OFFICIAL SPOON, FULL OF TRUTH POST.

Let's have a show of hands. How many of you thought that Mel Gibson (Hi, my name is Mel Gibson, and I am a raging anti-Semite) and Fidel Castro (My kid brother Raoul will be filling in for me) would be sharing the spotlight at a time when Iraq is on the verge of civil war with all the sectarian violence, and the middle east war between Israel and Hezbollah is threatening to engulf the entire region? That’s what I thought. No one. What to make of all this craziness? Well, surprisingly, I think both situations can end up with a positive resolution. Hear me out. First, Mel. He is begging for forgiveness. He is asking Jews to help him through this crisis. For those of you living under a rock, Mel, after being stopped by a police officer in Malibu, California, allegedly lashed out at the officer with a scatological anti-Semitic diatribe. Mel, who was allegedly driving under the influence, perhaps realizing that his career could be jeopardized by his revealing his true feelings, apologized and tried to put the beer back in the can (so to speak). All of us, at one time or another, have said something or done something we have regretted and wished we could erase. Maybe it was something like saying, “girls aren't good at sports,” when choosing sides in the playground. Maybe it was blurting out a racial epithet, or locking the car doors when driving through a "bad" neighborhood. As soon as we said it or did it, we recognized how inappropriate it was. So I would say, let us forgive Mel, but don't forget what he did. If he does it again, then I say let us boycott his films or whatever else he undertakes. Oh yeah, I would also ask Mel to contribute mucho $$$ to a charity that fights anti-Semitism. And, finally, as Joy Behar suggested, ask Mel to publicly get circumcised. Now to Fidel. This is a momentous opportunity to modify our relations with Cuba. The embargo in my opinion has failed. Castro has been in power longer than any other person. I don't count Queen Elizabeth, whose reign is mostly ceremonial. I know there are many Cuban Americans who hate Castro and his regime. I suspect that they will continue to hate Raoul or any other successor(s) chosen by Fidel. Nevertheless, I think this a perfect time to relax the embargo and take that weapon out of Fidel's arsenal. He has often railed about the injustice of our embargo. Remember, it was Tricky Dick Nixon who, much to the shock of most Americans, opened the door to renewed relations with China. We need to open the door, not continue to isolate Cuba. The true victims of our policy are the Cuban people who are denied the opportunity, by and large, to engage us one to one. So there they are, my proposals to fix the Mel and Fidel problems. Please comment on this post and let me know what you think. -Jay Fanyal