A heavy dose of truth, humor, and political activism.

Location: Phila, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


YOU CAN PICK YOUR NOSE, YOU CAN EVEN PICK YOUR FRIEND'S NOSE, BUT CAN YOU PICK YOUR PRESIDENT? Will the American people really pick the next U.S. President? Or will the President be picked for us? It seems to me that the trend in this country is to have the President chosen for us. I love going to the supermarket to do my food shopping. I like the option of choosing my own food. If I want steak, I can have steak. If I want chicken, I can have chicken. If I want fish, they have that too. There is a whole isle of cereals to choose from, and many, many different kinds of fruit. Variety is what makes it great. I have so many choices and I can pick the one I really want. I remember being a kid a seeing pictures of the bread lines in Russia. People standing in line for hours and hours just hoping to get whatever food was available when they finally got to the front. That's how I feel when I go to the polls. I stand in line, and when I finally get to the booth, it's slim pickings. Do I take the stale bread? Or the spoiled milk? I don't really get to choose the one I think would be the best (like having steak for dinner), I get to choose from the crap that is available. It would be like doing away with supermarkets altogether have having someone else just choose what I was able to eat. "You can have ham, or you can have potato salad, that's it." Well I don't like ham. And I don't like potato salad. But I'd rather eat one of them than starve to death. So I'd pick one. That's how I feel on election day. Why should we only have two candidates to choose from? I don't wanna hear any rhetoric about the primaries. It's the same thing. You get a few bad choices, and you have to pick one. Instead of waiting for nominees to declare that they are throwing their name into the very small hat for President, I urge people to start checking out people they would like to see run for the office now and create a buzz about them. Don't wait until christmas eve to do your shopping. I know there are people out there who would make a decent commander in chief. Men, women, gay, straight, any religion, any race, it doesn't matter. It's time we picked our next president instead of our next president picking us. In a perfect world, anyone could run for the office. This world is far from perfect but if we act now, maybe we can choose even one more option. And the more choices we have, the more likely it is that we can select one we want, and not just one we're given. I'm sick of stale bread. Let's have some English muffins. GIVE ME A BREAK, GIVE ME A BREAK When I was in Toronto this past October, I fell in love. Sure, I was there with my wonderful wife to have our second wedding in her hometown, but sometimes passion cannot be controlled. That was the case when I first laid eyes on Banana Kit-Kat. Even as I write about her now, I can feel myself beginning to salivate. The folks at Nestle had finally concocted my dream candy. I love bananas, I love things flavored like banana, and boy do I love chocolate. When I first laid eyes upon the bright yellow wrapper, it was love at first sight. Knowing that just one Kit-Kat would never be enough (it certainly never is if you're with four or more friends), I bought several packs. By morning, they were gone. Figuring I could purchase them at another store later in the week in her hometown of Meaford, Ontario, I did not return to the 7-11 where I had bought them the night before. BIG mistake. I would only see my dream candy once more after that fateful night, when my thoughtful new Canadian friend Erin (thank you E-Mac!) happened upon four packs of them and gave them to me for christmas. Oh banana Kit-Kat how I miss you. Come back to me baby. I never want us to be apart again. Thankfully, I had the good sense to save one of the wrappers. I am looking at it right now. On the back is contact information. http://www.nestle.ca/ I urge all of you to contact them and suggest, no, demand that they begin to carry these gifts to the human taste bud in every store in Canada, as well as here in the States. Kindly point out to the folks at Nestle that I have given them free advertising here and the least they could do is comply with my request. I'm not asking for a handout. I'll buy them. Give me a break. Just make them available Nestle. Stop toying with my emotions. Get your hands on some Banana Kit-Kat's people. Your life will change for the better. Mine has. HOW DO YOU SAY SPOON IN SPANISH? I will be departing for Madrid, Spain this evening loyal (and first-time) readers and I will be taking the Spoon with me. Expect fewer posts in the next week or so but I, D. Jacob Miller will be back at full strength by late next week, bringing you all the truth you have come to depend on. I am going to do my best to bring you at least one installment from overseas. The truth cannot be contained to just North America. I must seek it out wherever I go. If you really get a jones for some serious truth in the meantime, I urge you to go back and reread (or check out for the first time) all the old posts in the archives. There may just be a sliver of truth you neglected to pick up before. I wish you all well in the coming days, and look forward to sharing my adventures abroad with you when I return, one big Spoon, Full of Truth, at a time. Adios


Blogger RBZ said...

I'd choose a big fat spoonfull of mayo to be my pres with a side of sour cream as my vp.

February 28, 2006 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree that we often have a Presidential race pitting 2 Bozos against one another.Sometimes one Bozo (Bush ) is far worse than his rival(Kerry ).Consequently we vote for the lesser of 2 Bozos.And even when more of us vote that way (Gore ), we still wind up with the bigger Bozo (Bush,thanks to Supreme Court ). The question becomes can we energize enough voters to say we need a larger voice in who runs for President.Can we change the process so that we will get better choices.No more just Ham. No more just cauliflower.We want also steak,we also want ice cream and we definitely want banana kit kats to choose from.

February 28, 2006 2:18 PM  
Blogger D. Jacob Miller said...

I agree. I always compared picking between Gore and Bush or Kerry and Bush as choosing between being punched in the stomach or kicked in the balls. Neither is appealing, but I'll take the punch in the stomach before the kick in the nuts any day. What I'd really like is to not be injured at all.

February 28, 2006 2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ham or potato salad is not at all comparable with some of our political choices. More like picking thru your neighbor's trash for some leftover pot pie (at least 10 weeks old ) or some other delectable treat that spoiled in their frig.

March 01, 2006 4:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about endorsing Bill Maher for president? He's the smartest political commentator I know (except D.Jacob Miller of course). It would be nice to tune in to a state of the union address or press conference with the president without wanting to throw up. I can see it now -- the major networks fighting to get an exclusive interview with the president during sweeps week. We can dream.

March 03, 2006 7:39 PM  

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