YOU CAN'T GET BLOOD FROM A STONE, OR MORALS FROM A BUSH
NO WOOD FOR THAT BEAVER I know nothing about the movie Basic Instinct 2 except for this, Sharon Stone gets naked, again. Am I supposed to be excited? There's an old saying that goes, "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" I'll take it a step further. Why buy the cow when you already got the milk for free like 14 years ago? The Sharon Stone beaver-shot might have produced a little wood when I was 13 years old and suffered from spontaneous erections, but at this point Sharon Stone naked excites me less than a good cheeseburger. I have my own basic instinct and it's to not waste any money going to a movie to see some chick who is 14 years past her prime try to relive her glory days by flashing a little skin at the camera. We get it Sharon, you still have a vagina. It didn't shrivel up and disappear. That doesn't mean I want to see it. Sorry that I am the one to have to break this to you, but once you show the goods, they lose their value. Why pay ten dollars to go to the theatre to see you naked when we could rent the original Basic Instinct from the bargain bin at the video store for two bucks and see you when you were fifteen years younger? Naked women aren't like wine. They don't get better with age. I'm not going to pay money to see what time (and the birth of a few children) has done to your body. Thanks but no thanks. I think I'd rather take the ice pick from your first movie and stick myself in the eye. There's another saying that goes, "You can't get blood from a stone," at this point, when it comes to Sharon Stone, I can't even get enough blood flowing to get aroused. I'M NOT JUST TIRED OF OLD BEAVER, I'M SICK OF OVER THE HILL BUSH It was recently reported that Barbara Bush made a large donation to the Katrina Relief Fund. Unlike most donations, this one came with a stipulation. The money had to be spent to purchase educational software. And not just any educational software. Software produced by Ignite Learning, a company owned by her son, Neil. (You can read a little about the story in USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-03-24-bush-earmark_x.htm) Doesn't this sound a little bit like money laundering? Barb makes a charitable donation (for which she receives a tax break) and the money goes directly to her son's company. It is a better deal than if she had just given the money to Neil because she got a tax break for doing it. Furthermore, her donation did not FULLY fund the purchase of the software and additional funds had to be taken from the Katrina Relief Fund to help purchase the software. Basically she donated enough money to pay for some of the software but the money would go to waste if it wasn't spent on that exact software. This forced the Katrina Relief Fund to either make up the difference, or let the money go to waste. I have news for you, instead of cashing the check, they should have rolled it up and let Dubya snort a few lines of coke with it. I'm sure the first concern on the minds of parents and children who lost everything in Hurricane Katrina is that they have educational software in place. Never mind new homes, food, clothes, or even computers to run the software, they need software. And the software might as well come from someone as reputable as Neil Bush. We all remember Neil Bush, right? He served as a board member with Silverado Savings and Loan, a company that collapsed and cost taxpayers $1 billion. He had romps with Asian hookers. I could go on and on. (The Washington Post did go on and on: http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A35297-2003Dec27?language=printer) Barbara Bush said her main concern was educating children, and maybe she's achieved her goal. Listen up kids, your Auntie Barbara has an invaluable lesson for you: If you are rich enough, you can do whatever you want. Why give your grown son a big fat sum of money when instead you can donate it to him, get a tax break, and siphon other funds donated by the public to his company as well? This is the real lesson. The lesson is that the Bush family cares about one thing, The Bush Family. Period. Anything they do is for self gain. They might try to wrap it up and make it look like something else, but a rose by any other name is still a rose, and a Bush by any other name, is still a self centered ass hole (or coke-head, murderer, thief, war monger, liar, etc). They will take advantage of anything for personal gain. This would be like me donating $1 million to habitat for humanity but saying that the money had to be used to buy housing supplies from the housing supply company that my brother owned (my brother owns no such company) which uses materials that are known to cause cancer if you live in a house made from them. It's time the Bush family stopped using America, its tax dollars, its citizens, its government, and its armed forces as their own piggy bank. Dubya will be out of office soon, but when will the Bush family release the U.S. from their heartless grip of greed and corruption? ANYONE WITH A BRAIN, COME ON DOWN! YOU'RE THE NEXT READER ON SPOON, FULL OF TRUTH I just want to take a minute to thank all of my readers out there for continuing to read the Spoon and share it with others. The numbers of those seeking the Truth, one Spoon, Full of it at a time, are steadily growing. As long as you continue to crave the truth, it will be here ready and waiting. I am still looking for guest columnists so please contact me at Spoonfulloftruth@aol.com if you would like to share your wisdom with the Spoon's readers.