A heavy dose of truth, humor, and political activism.

Location: Phila, Pennsylvania, United States

Friday, September 11, 2009



Recently named for the second straight year as the No. 1 School in U.S. News & World Report rankings of American colleges, Harvard is known for its rigorous scholarly standards and prestigious reputation.

On Tuesday, however, The Harvard Crimson, in what it said was an error, ran an advertisement questioning the legitimacy of the Holocaust. The ad, paid for by Holocaust denier Bradley R. Smith and his Committee for Open Debate on the Holocaust, was said to have been rejected by the paper over the summer.

According to CNN, Crimson President Maxwell L. Child, in response to the commotion created by the ad, released a statement Wednesday citing three weeks of summer vacation between the submission of the advertisement and the publication of the paper as the explanation for why the ad "fell through the cracks."

That’s the best that Maxwell Child could come up with? Three weeks of summer vacation? Oh I’m sorry that I didn’t pay my taxes this year I.R.S., I was just on spring break for three weeks and I guess they just “fell through the cracks”.

It gets better. "We want to stress that we do not endorse the views put forth in any advertisement that runs in The Crimson, and this case was no different," Child said in a letter to Crimson readers. "We will work hard to avoid such lapses in communication in the future, and hope our readers will accept that yesterday's error was a logistical failure and not a philosophical one."

They don’t endorse the ads but they might want to be a little more careful about what slips through the cracks. If I were Yale or Brown, I’d be sending in my “Harvard Sucks!” advertisements into the Crimson right after winter vacation. The Crimson won’t endorse the message, but maybe they’ll run it anyway. Today’s anniversary would be the perfect time for Osama Bin Laden to send in his ad questioning whether 9/11 really happened.

I’m not the only skeptic. Robert Trestan, civil rights counsel for the Anti-Defamation League of New England, said Bradley R. Smith and his hate organization have placed ads in approximately fifteen college papers around the country so far this year. He said he finds it shocking that such an advertisement would fall through the cracks, as Child said it did.

Not only did the ad run on Tuesday, but Child has said in his statement that they intend to return the money from the pulled advertisement! Really?! That’s your move? I say donate it to a group that educates people on the horrors of the holocaust. If you return it, they’ll just use it to run more hate ads in other papers.

It is widely accepted that approximately 5.7 million of Europe's 7.3 million Jews perished during the World War 2. In total, historians say, between 11 million and 17 million people were killed by the Nazi regime, including religious and political opponents, ethnic Poles, Romani, Jehovah's Witnesses, Soviet civilians and prisoners of war, homosexuals and people with disabilities.

Yet people today still question the validity of the Holocaust? Is Smith’s next move to run ads suggesting that the Earth really is flat and that the moon is made of cheese?

You’d think the first ranked school in the nation would have heard of proof reading. Sometimes it’s not enough to just run grammar and spell checker; there is obviously a need for “moronic hate theories” checker as well.

According to comments made by Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) on the floor of the House of Representatives on Wednesday, President Obama's pants are on fire. Obama quickly denied the flaming allegations.

Wilson’s outburst of “You lie!” came during President Obama’s address to the House on health care reform. It was in response to a comment by the President that said extending health care to all Americans who seek it would not mean insuring illegal immigrants.

This kind of behavior does not take place on the House floor. Then again, we have never had a black president before.

The AP reports that Wilson's official biography lists him as a member of the Sons of Confederate Veterans. As a state senator, he voted against a bill to remove the Confederate flag from atop the South Carolina Statehouse and move it to a monument on the capitol grounds.

"I'm proud of it and I don't want it to be made fun of or put down by people who don't understand Southern heritage," he said during months of debate on the issue in 2000.

Southern heritage is also known as racism. The main sticking point between the Union and the Confederacy during the Civil War was whether or not slavery should continue. The southern states wanted to keep slavery (many still do) and the northern ones felt it was wrong. The Confederate flag stands for slavery.

But please don’t put down or make fun of Joe Wilson. You just don’t understand.

Personally I’d like to send Joe Wilson and Bradley R. Smith off to a remote island where they can sit around on the beach and masturbate to the Confederate and Nazi flags. Although they might get into a scuffle over whether the best way to deal with black people is to kill them or enslave them. If only Michael Vick had the forethought to fight and kill idiots and not dogs, it would have solved so many problems. Glenn Beck vs. Bill O’Reilly makes a great main event.

Do you smell that? It’s not Obama’s pants burning; that’s the smell of Democrats to the rescue! And they don’t think that Wilson’s private apology to the President is sufficient.

Brendan Daly, a spokesman for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, said today that party leaders have decided they will likely move forward with a resolution of disapproval against Wilson if he doesn't apologize to Congress.

I have two thoughts for the Democrats.
1) Great idea! Another distraction from passing decent health care legislation is just what this country needs! Can the liberals get a little help from Ken Starr?
2) A resolution of disapproval sounds like a stellar idea! Why don’t you just call his mother and tell on him? I can just picture her standing next to her son on the House floor, “Now Joey, you tell the Representatives that you’re sorry.”
Even better, why don’t you just give him a five minute “time-out” in the corner (on the liberal side of the aisle)?

Can you imagine what would have happened if a Democrat cried out “You lie!” at George Bush during one of his addresses on weapons of mass destruction? I doubt they would have “likely moved forward” on a resolution of disapproval. It’s more likely they would have sent him straight to Guantanamo and executed him for treason under Patriot Act (or at least sent him on a mandatory “proper conduct” hunting retreat with Dick Cheney).

President Obama, why don’t you just prove to all of us that Joe Wilson is full of it and that you aren’t a liar? I have two words for you: public option.

The Steelers beat the Titans with an overtime field goal in Thursday night’s NFL kick off game. I just had one thought when I woke up this morning, T.G.I.F; Thank God it’s Football. I love baseball, especially now that my Phillies are the defending World Champions (and they will defend their crown) but after a long summer of nothing but America’s past-time, I’m ready to mix in a little NFL.

Now that the Phillies broke the seal on Philadelphia’s title drought, the Eagles (who returned to the NFC Championship game last year and have made several upgrades on offense) are poised to win their first Super Bowl. Sadly our brilliant defensive coordinator Jim Johnson passed away over the summer but his legacy will live on.

It would have been too much for Philly fans to handle both a World Series and Super Bowl victory last season, but this year, two titles will be twice as nice. I’m calling it now.

**In other sports news Michael Jordan was elected into the Basketball Hall of Fame today, reminding us all that while there is no “I” in team, there is definitely an “I” in win.

Today marks the eight year anniversary of George Bush successfully reading, in its entirety, “The Pet Goat” with a classroom full of second graders. The book, a challenging read for the former President, is about a goat that eats everything in its path. When the parents of the little girl, to whom the goat belongs, try to get rid of it, the girl comes to its defense. In the end, the goat prevents a robbery and is hailed as a hero.

It’s a great story.

I think my favorite part is when Dubya was informed that a plane had hit the World Trade Centers and decided to stay put, because when George Bush starts a children’s book, damn it, he finishes it! How’s that for resolve terrorists?

On a serious note, I would like to take a minute to remember the almost 3,000 innocent trade center workers, employees, cops, and firefighters who lost their lives that day in the terrorist attacks. Let us also acknowledge the countless innocent U.S. soldiers and Iraqi citizens who have perished since we started a pointless war there in 2003; because nothing memorializes the loss of innocent lives like the loss of far more innocent lives.

Thanks for reading another truth-filled edition of The Spoon. The truth really suits you; you wear it resoundingly well. Just remember, when if comes to the Truth, if the Spoon feeds it, you should eat it.