POST THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS AND LEFT-OVERS

LET’S CYBER
Today is Cyber Monday which is retailers’ online version of Black Friday. Why does the holiday shopping season take an extra three days to kick off online? Because many people who have internet at their job do not have access at home. That means that work productivity should be very low today as people sit at their desks, pretending to look busy, and shop for the best online deals. If you want to join in you can go to: http://www.cybermonday.com/... just remember to keep an eye out for your boss.




STATE (DINNER) OF SECURITY
It looks like the fallout will begin today as members of the House demand answers to how Michaele and Tareq Salahi were able to gain access to the state dinner at the White House this past Thursday. The couple, who were uninvited, somehow made it through Secret Service check points even though their names did not appear on the guest list. They were photographed speaking with President Obama as well as the Prime Minister of India. The couple is now trying to parlay their infamous party-crash into paid interviews on several networks as well as a reality series. Can you imagine this taking place during the Bush years? Could you imagine if two African Americans tried to crash one of Dubya’s state dinners? They would have been called terrorists and shipped off to Gitmo before the first course. The fact that these two media-whores were able to get access to the President leads me to believe that many Secret Service agents will be looking for a new job come 2010. Criminal charges may also be brought against the Salahis.

THE PIG THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS
With the flu and swine flu running rampant through the U.S., Santa might be carrying more than a sack of presents this holiday season. If you allow your kid to sit on Santa’s lap at the local mall in the coming weeks, you might want to tell them to add a few things to their holiday wish list.
“Okay honey, just remember that in addition to your electronic hamster and Nintendo Wii that you tell Santa that you want a jumbo bottle of Purel and some H1N1 vaccine, wear these rubber gloves, and try not to let him breath on you…”
It is estimated that the flu bug can live for up to eight hours on Old St. Nick’s suit so if you see one of the boys or girls ahead of you in line sneezing on Santa, you might want to wait until he’s had a wardrobe change and send your kid over to pet Rudolph instead.



HOT JESUS
He’s baaaaack.
“Hi, I’m Jesus Christ. You may remember me from my past appearances on toast in South Carolina, a truck in Tennessee, and even on that dog’s ass in Los Angeles (http://www.getbehindjesus.net/). This holiday season please come witness my spender as I travel to Metheun, Massachusetts for a limited engagement on Mary Jo Coady’s steam iron. Nothing gets those tough wrinkles out of your favorite pleated slacks like some good old fashioned Christ love.”
I get it; times are tough and people will see what they want to see. For this woman who was recently separated from her husband and had her work hours cut, she needed a sign that thing would be okay…and she found one…on the bottom of her iron (according to the AP, she now intends to keep the holy iron in a closet and will purchase a new one). Mrs. Coady’s two college aged daughters agreed that the image resembles that of their lord and savior and is proof that “he’s listening”.
Dear Jesus, if you’re out there, and can hear me…please give me a sign…your likeness, on the brown residue on the underside of my iron for all to see and bear witness to, is all that I ask for.




BEERLY AFFORDABLE
What do you get for the beer drinker who has everything? Thanks to Jim Koch, founder and owner of Boston Beer Co. (which produces Sam Adams) you can now buy them a bottle of the world’s strongest beer, Utopias. Banned in thirteen states because it exceeds the legal alcohol content for beer, Utopias weighs in at an unheard of 27 percent alcohol by volume (about five times higher than your average beer). This wonder beer, which is anything but simple to produce, will have a limited release of 10,000 bottles. You can forget about picking up a case for your holiday party. Each bottle, made to look like a tiny copper and ceramic brew kettle, will set you back $150.

SPORTS IN SHORT
-The Yankees won a 27th World Championship beating my Philadelphia Phillies 4-2. Money might not be able to buy love, but it can buy World Series rings.
-The New Jersey Nets are tied for the worst start in NBA history opening their season with 17 straight losses.
-The BCS bowl games will be announced this coming Sunday and the Subdivision playoffs kicked off this past weekend with all four CAA teams winning.
-The Big East is hands down the best conference in Men’s College Basketball. You can check out my Villanova articles at www.bleacherreport.com/villanova-basketball
-The Philadelphia 76ers are actually considering bringing back Allen Iverson. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
-According to the AP, Notre Dame has fired Coach Charlie Weis after five seasons.
-Philadelphia could potentially host a World Cup game in 2018/2022.







ARTSY DECEMBER TO REMEMBER
There is lots of exciting stuff going on for me this December. For the third year in a row I will have art work on display in Philadelphia City Hall. You can check out the exhibit of the National Arts Program starting December 17th 2009. It runs until February 19th, 2010.
My photos and paintings will be available for sale the weekend of December 12th and 13th at the Mt. Airy Art Garage (http://www.mtairyartgarage.org/) where I will be displaying my work at a juried weekend market for fine art. It runs from 10-6 both days.
Finally, two of my photographs will be auctioned off December 19th to benefit “Toys For Tots” at a uslounges.com charity event being held at Vango Lounge & Skybar. It’s a great cause I encourage all of you in the area to attend (see flier below).



NEVER TOO OLD TO BE SPOON FED
Next month the Spoon, Full of Truth will celebrate four years of bringing you news and information in a way no other publication does. Please check back in December for a look ahead to next year and a look back at some of my favorite stories from the past four years. Forwarding the Spoon to your friends and family is a great way to make them feel warm and loved this holiday season. We all know that sharing means caring. Speaking of sharing, as I look to expand the Spoon in the coming year I will be accepting donations from readers to help in my cause (advertising, sponsorship of events, etc). If you can make a donation in any amount it would be greatly appreciated and you can use the "donate" Pay Pal button located on the left side of the page below the archives or at the very bottom of the page under all of the posts. Thank you in advance! You keep reading 'em, I'll keep writing 'em. Check back soon, to get more truth, straight from the Spoon!